What makes music ‘real’?

Ok so I’m the first to admit that my taste in music isn’t exactly what most people would call ‘cool’ – My favourite bands include the Spice Girls, ABBA, and Savage Garden; and I have this odd habit of falling in love with bands long after they were ‘in’ (case in point: Savage Garden, who I had heard of and even had one of their albums floating around, but never properly listened to until 2004.  Also the 10,000 Maniacs, who broke up in 1993, and who I don’t think were ever really ‘popular’ in the first place, I wouldn’t know, since I was only born in ‘88!).  Other favourites include Missy Higgins, the Corrs, the Dixie Chicks, Mika, Elton John, Cat Stevens, and Blondie, and I’m not ashamed to admit that Atomic Kitten, S Club 7, and Celine Dion get a run on my CD player when I need cheering up.  Anyway, to get (further along the way) to the point, I’m not the type of person who hides their music taste just so people will think I’m cool, since the people I tend to like will think I’m cool for NOT pretending to be cool (sorry if that didn’t make sense!).  Every now and then, though, something like the following story happens:  I was at work last night (I’m a waitress at an Indian restaurant), and it was very quiet so I was talking to some of my workmates about music.  One guy asked me what kind of music I generally listened to (the Spice Girls had come up, and we’d had a discussion about ABBA), and for some reason I found myself trying to make myself look ‘cooler’ by mentioning less common bands and musicians that I liked, and essentially agreeing with this guy in putting down my taste in music (I don’t like him, if that’s what you’re thinking – it’s just a stupid thing that I do sometimes).

So the thing that really got me thinking was when he asked me ‘So do you actually like any REAL music?’.  At the time I just laughed, but when I got home I thought about it some more, and actually started to get annoyed – who decides what makes music REAL?!  Is it that the singer or band write their own songs, their own music, play their own instruments – in short have full musical talent?  (As opposed to just a voice, although I hardly think that people like Kiri te Kanawa or Luciano Pavarotti could be accused of having ‘just’ a voice).  If that’s the case, then most of my favourites measure up – Savage Garden, the Dixie Chicks and Missy Higgins, for example, tick all of these boxes.  Even the Spice Girls wrote most of their own lyrics.  The only thing that separates Savage Garden from what this guy calls ‘real music’ is fewer guitar riffs, less yelling (I’m not saying rock is all yelling, I really like some rock bands, but my workmate cited Korn as an example of music he likes), and some different subjects on some songs.  So what if they sing more songs about love and relationships?  Songs are about that more often that not, in all genres, and maybe these guys get more satisfaction out of singing about that stuff than about whatever Korn or whoever are screaming about.  And anyone who’s really listened to ‘Two Beds and a Coffee Machine’ could hardly accuse Savage Garden of not singing about ‘real stuff’.  

So is ‘realness’ of music about the guitar riffs and yelling then?  Or is it about not having radio play or a massive fan base?  I like bands and musicians like that, but my workmate (and my brother and his ilk) would still call those musicians ‘not real music’.  In my mind, real music is about lyrics written from real experiences (and that you can actually hear) and melody, and I’ll admit to being a bit of a hypocrite – I’ve definitely called thrash metal and rap ‘not real music’, on the basis of my guidelines to music.  If no-one’s singing, then how is it really a song?  *ducks from rap fans everywhere*  In this I’m just as bad as my workmate, but I’d never diss someone’s music taste to their face.  Everyone has the right to listen whatever they like and not be hassled or made to feel small about it.  

Any other ideas what could be considered to constitute ‘real music’, or why my favourites aren’t considered ‘real’?  I’d be very interested to find out other people’s opinions on this.